NFL Storylines That Deserve Your Undivided Attention
Fall is the best time of the year. Everybody has that fresh summer tan we all worked SO hard for. It’s also #bulkingseasonbro, so carbs are in again. But most importantly, footy footy football is back baby. Sunday’s in fall are for one thing, and one thing only. So whether you’re worried about the score, the cheerleaders, or your fantasy team, I suggest you start worrying about firing up that grill. While you’re at it, take a look at what everybody’s going to be talking about during the 2018 NFL season.
#1. The Return of Chucky
Jon Gruden is the new head honcho in Oakland, and getting paid 100 milly over the next decade to bring the Raiduhz back to their former glory. Gruden is coming off a not so brief broadcasting stint with ESPN’s Monday Night Football (2009-2017) and has had the privilege of watching the league form a bird’s eye view for quite some time. He hasn’t won (or lost) a game since 2008, however, Gruden said he’s learned a lot from watching the league from the outside looking in. He has though, stayed in contact with many of his former colleagues in the sport, both collegiately and professionally. Gruden has even been known to show up to some fall camps over the past few years to help out with drills and even install plays.
Side note, he just let the best player on the team get traded to the bears for 2 1st round draft picks. I’m not a hater, never have been, but man o man that doesn’t seem like a step in the right direction. He must have a very specific vision in mind for his #comebackseason
#2. NFL Rule Changes
The NFL has introduced some new rules in an attempt to protect their workers from themselves, but some in the league have been outspoken about the changes. 49ers cornerback Richard Sherman has been outspoken about these rule changes, specifically calling into question the mechanics of the implied change. The rule is read: “It is a foul if a player lowers his head to initiate and make contact with his helmet against an opponent. This rule pertains to all players on the field, and to all areas of the field.” Sherman is concerned about how a human is supposed to move his head out of the way when hitting another player at full speed. Additionally, what about when a player lowers his head when bracing to receive a blow, just as most of us flinch and curl up when we expect to be struck with something. As fans what this will translate into is less speed, fewer collisions, and less violence in football. And more flags. Which means slower games. Which sucks.
#3. Eric Decker Retired!!!
The NFL’s hottest guy just retired. Talk about bombshell… so while we search for the new “hottest guy in the office” here are a few of my nominees.
Clay Matthews - Green Bay Packers Linebacker. The longer his hair gets the more I stare
Rob Gronkoswki - New England Patriots Tight End. He parties hard and plays harder
Russell Wilson - Seattle Seahawks Quarterback. Currently wifed up by RnB artist Ciara. So I’m saying there’s NO chance
Jimmy Garoppolo - San Francisco 49ers Quarterback. Jimmy GQ! Young stud and former Tom Brady backup. No news yet on if he got the poem I wrote to him. That I sent via pigeon. With my number on it. 4 weeks ago.
#4. Veteran Quarterback Carousel
Former Kansas City Chiefs QB Alex Smith is the first QB in NFL history to leave the same team with which he led the league in QB rating during the previous season. You might wonder why the Chiefs were so willing to let go of such an efficient player, especially at the most important position in the game. Fortunately for the chiefs, they feel they have a suitable replacement in sophomore-year former Texas Tech QB Patrick Mahomes. Mahomes showed enough during his debut against the Broncos in 2017, during which he went 22-35 for 284 yards and 1 pick, to earn the trust of the Chiefs. See ya later Alex Smith. Smith was then acquired by the Washington Redskins via trade in an attempt to replace the Redskins former QB, Kirk Cousins. Cousins was touted as the biggest prize in free agency during the 2018 offseason after the Redskins failed to sign him after franchise tagging him one year prior. Cousins is now the QB for the Minnesota Vikings, a team that made it to the NFC Championship last year on the shoulders of backup QB Case Keenum. Keenum, who impressed the Denver Broncos enough to earn a 2-year 36 milly contract, when introduced as the new signal caller in Denver said that his team is going to be “really, really hard to beat”. Confident words from a player on a team that lost 6 more games than it won in 2017.
So let me give it to you straight no chaser…
KC thought the grass in Patrick Mahomes yard was greener, so they dumped Alex Smith
The Redskins, who clearly have commitment issues, decided that Alex was their new mans.
Minnesota got the Redskin’s sloppy seconds in Kirk Cousins, (who is the best QB on the Carousel)
And finally, the Broncos saw enough from Case Keenum in Minnesota to give him a (sinking) ship to captain on his own.
#5. Colin Kaepernick Vs. NFL
The NFL is being brought to trial over allegations of collusion by former 49ers QB Colin Kaepernick. Kaepernick began protesting police shootings of - people of color during the beginning of the 2016 NFL season. He finished out the year with the 49ers and opted out of his contract in March of 2017, while still being considered a decent NFL quarterback. He has since not been hired by any NFL teams, which raises suspicions, especially considering his level of ability at the most valuable position on the field. In October 2017, Kaepernick filed a grievance against the NFL for colluding to keep him out of the league. Recently, Nike has released an ad featuring Kaepernick’s face on the cover with the text: “believe in something, even if it means sacrificing everything”. Nike’s sales, immediately after releasing the campaign shot up 31%. To some, this could raise questions about Nike’s motive for the ad. Kaepernick has already donated 1 million dollars to charities for oppressed peoples. An anonymous source has told the Associated Press that Nike will feature Kaepernick in billboard, TV commercials, and online campaigns. This deal includes Nike creating an apparel line featuring Kaepernick while committing to donating to Kaep’s “ Know Your Rights” charity.